Mike's Toybox

I don’t remember which RPG system we used for this. Probably something from Apocalypse World or something. We played a campaign where we were part of a crappy guild run by goblins that were always mismanaging things and screwing over their members with magic contracts that forced them into subservience. I missed the second session, and this is the recap I came back to the following week.

“Last time, the guild caravan stopped to gather supplies and forage for food, and they collected a large crop of delicious berries that everyone partook in. Then they crossed into a treacherous swamp, where the majority of the caravan came down with a severe disease similar to malaria. Everyone was in a coma, including your character. The other party members were the only ones well enough to explore the marsh for a witch they’d heard about who might have a cure. In the process of exploring the marsh, the party were attacked by undead horrors dwelling in the swamp water, and giant mosquitoes lurking in the trees. The tank almost got eaten by a giant fire-breathing serpent with a weird duck head, which he defeated single-handedly in mortal combat.

“Eventually they discovered the witch’s eerie house, but upon entering they plunged into the underworld and had to find their way back to the land of the living. Narrowly succeeding, the witch congratulated them on their endurance and awarded them with special mushrooms that could counteract the swamp malaria the others had come down with. On the return trip, the marsh came alive, and the party found themselves fighting the landscape itself and losing.

“It was here that the psychedelic effect of the berries finally wore off, and the heroes realized they hadn’t traveled more than ten feet from their caravan. The witch’s mushrooms were just regular mushrooms they’d found in the swamp and had been stuffing their faces with, and the tank was still covered in the vines he’d mistaken for the fire-breathing serpent. Basically the entirety of the second session boiled down to, ‘the heroes tripped balls and did nothing productive for several hours.’ Everyone is now awake, still suffering from malaria, and now ALSO suffering a hangover from the wild berries. Your party members are additionally sick from the wild mushrooms. You are all still in the swamp. What do you do now?”